


You Are My Blessing. I Am Your Curse.

by kmsmitty



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Blood, Blood Drinking, Conflict, Graduate School, Human/Vampire Relationship, Loneliness, M/M, Magic, Secrets, Spells & Enchantments, Suicidal Thoughts, Timeline What Timeline, Vampires, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-01-15 08:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21250223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmsmitty/pseuds/kmsmitty
Summary: Chanyeol, a vampire, has been searching for centuries. He has longed for death, since being turned 400 years ago. The only way for him to die, is to find the human whose blood can negate his immortality. But when he finds him, he has to choose: the death he's been wanting, or the man that just might make life worth living.





	1. Ashes and Dust

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween, my lovelies. I decided I wanted to write something spooky. I wanted to stick to a oneshot, but I don't think it'll do the story justice, so here we are. As I'm sure you can tell by the summary and the tags, dear baby Chanyeol doesn't want to be alive. So a general trigger warning for that now, as it is the running theme of the story. Also, expect blood and things, as this is a vampire fic. If reading fic with that theme is not for you, this is me telling you to run away. You've been warned. I'm sorry this is short, but there's a natural break, so I'm using it. Hope you enjoy!

Chanyeol awoke, his skin bubbling under the surface. The annoyance of being turned during the dark ages. Well, not the actual Dark Ages. Just the time before technology had caught up with everything else. Newer vampires didn't know the struggle. No. They were born in a time where the elixir existed. The one that made daywalking possible. It only worked properly if administered at the time of turning. Older vampires could take the elixir, but it didn't work the same. Chanyeol could walk in the sunlight without turning to ash, with no physical signs of damage. But his nerve endings still screamed at the sun's touch, a phantom, excruciating pain.

Just one of the many reasons he wished he could die.

Chanyeol had been turned on a drunken night in his mid twenties. There had been whispers of evil in that district, but nobody honestly believed that vampires existed. Just a spooky tale mothers told their children to scare them around Halloween. There were hundreds of reasons for people to disappear. Vampires couldn't possibly be one of them.

Except, they were, in fact, the only reason.

Chanyeol had been bitten by a man named Baekhyun. It was almost embarrassing how he had been taken down by someone half a foot shorter than he was, but then again, vampires, Chanyeol came to find, were incredibly strong. In terms of cruelty, Baekhyun lacked any capacity. He went for Chanyeol, thinking the man laid out drunk in the alley had no real ties to being alive. Baekhyun thought it was a mercy killing.

Until Chanyeol began to sob, beg for Baekhyun to stop, scream that he didn't want to die. How he regretted those words.

Baekhyun had never turned anyone before. He hated hurting people, but he was reborn as a vampire in a time where there was no surrogate for human blood. Animal blood was toxic, and synthetic blood was a few millennia away from being invented. He had no choice. Baekhyun fed quickly, as painlessly as possible. An angel amongst demons.

Chanyeol had struggled, not wanting to drink from Baekhyun. Ever patient, Baekhyun had babied him through the process, offered him a place to stay, access to centuries' worth of vampire knowledge. Chanyeol had refused, repeating that he just wanted to go home.

"You can never go home, Chanyeol. This is your life now."

~

Chanyeol had stayed with Baekhyun for the first two hundred years of his vampire life. Learning the code, techniques for feeding, how to adjust to life in darkness. Baekhyun had a library filled with books on their history, and Chanyeol soaked up all the knowledge he could.

Six days before his 201st anniversary, Baekhyun stumbled back to the house. He looked frail, like his age had caught up to him overnight.

"What happened to you?"

"I found it. Her. I found her."

Chanyeol shook his head, totally confused.

"What do you mean?"

"My human. I...I found her. I didn't realize until it was too late."

Chanyeol blinked several times, rapidly.

"That's just a myth, Baekhyun. There hasn't been a documented case in my lifetime, nor yours."

"Well, document it, Chanyeol."

Baekhyun withered away over the next few days, trying desperately to hold out until after Chanyeol's turning day. The young vampire awoke to find him a pile of dust. If he were capable of tears, he would have wept.

~

It took a few decades for Chanyeol to stop grieving Baekhyun. In terms of creators, he couldn't have asked for anyone better. Baekhyun was kind, gentle, loving. All things vampires weren't supposed to be capable of. Baekhyun had made it a point to never lose his humanity, a lesson he had deeply instilled in Chanyeol. It made being what he had become infinitely harder.

Being alone had never been easy for Chanyeol. Not as a human, and definitely not now as a vampire. But he had sworn to himself, as his body died as Baekhyun's blood coursed through his veins, that he would never turn a human as long as he lived. No matter how hard they begged. Blood oaths were uncommon in his age, an ancient form of magic, for lack of a better word. Chanyeol had performed the ritual, binding himself against it for all time. He couldn't turn someone even if he tried.

As time dragged on, being a vampire became easier. No more running from the sun, no more worrying about where your next meal came from. There were even vampires in the government, but of course, they hadn't made their status public knowledge. It was still too risky, even now, to openly live as a vampire. Humans knew that they existed, walked among them, but vampires had no rights. There were no laws protecting them. Although, there wasn't much a human could do to really hurt a vampire.

Vampires were all but invincible. Chanyeol knew this for a fact, as in his 200 years without Baekhyun, he had done the legwork. He'd cut his own head off, just to watch it reattach. Slit every major artery, only to have his blood seep into every pore, his skin sewing itself back up. Hanging, burning, throwing himself in front of a train, starving himself, none of it worked. His body always found a way to heal itself. Even the sun couldn't end his life, elixir or no elixir.

Chanyeol raged. He destroyed Baekhyun's house, ripping floorboards up with his bare hands, breaking windows with his fists. The only room that remained untouched was the library. The library was sacred; the knowledge housed there precious. It took Chanyeol a century and a half to set foot in it after Baekhyun disintegrated.

Dust covered everything. It hung in the air, thick like fog. Chanyeol would have been worried for his lungs if he actually cared about his life. The answer was here, in these books. Somewhere. He just had to find it.

~

Chanyeol spent every waking minute scouring the books for an answer. What had happened to Baekhyun had been considered a myth, but that myth had to have started somewhere. No one would just make it up.

His eyes felt like they were going to bleed. His fingers did, papercuts from flipping pages in haste. Chapters on rituals, on history, on laws. It went on and on and on. And nothing. No mention of it.

Hundreds of books, thousands of pages. Nothing.

Until Chanyeol finally saw it. He had been taking a break, head between his knees, eyes unfocused. There. A book he'd never opened. The back right leg of the couch he was sitting on had a book tucked underneath it for balance. It was small, gold. Surely, this was it. It had to be.

Chanyeol opened the cover. It was a diary.

~

Baekhyun was older than he had let on. About three millennia to be exact. Turns out, he was turned by the fourth oldest vampire known to exist. Baekhyun had been there, seen it. Helped write the laws that Chanyeol and the younger generations took for granted. Chanyeol's heart ached in his chest. There was so much he had never thought to ask, caught up in his own petty existence. If there was one human emotion he had retained over the centuries, it was guilt. It flooded him, drowning all of his senses. It felt dirty to read Baekhyun's handwriting. He wasn't here to learn, to be a better version of himself. No. He was here to try to kill himself. Chanyeol set the diary down, overwhelmed. He didn't deserve to know.

~

Chanyeol avoided the library for years, his mood darkening by the day. He couldn't make the loneliness stop, and he couldn't let the guilt wash away. Baekhyun had risked so much in turning him, had tried to give him a semblance of the life Chanyeol could have had, had they never crossed paths. Baekhyun had given him a second chance, and he was squandering it.

The anger he felt flared in his chest. He hadn't asked for this. When he had screamed that he wanted to live, he didn't mean this. A life without his family and friends, a life locked away from the sun, a life of killing others so he could live. Baekhyun had made a choice. A selfish choice. And Chanyeol was angry with him.

The conflicting emotions were overwhelming. He screamed until his vocal chords gave out. Clawed at the furniture with his nails. Laid crumpled on the floor, body heaving, but incapable of creating the tears he so desperately longed for. Chanyeol had to get out of the house. Immediately.

~

Baekhyun had lived near a university in the last centuries of his life. Chanyeol had never really stepped foot on campus before. Having been a graduate student at a neighboring school when he was turned, he had had no desire to bring up memories of his human life. Looking around now, he thinks he made the right decision.

It's a feast laid out before him. Thousands of young adults, hundreds of middle aged scholars teaching them. He could pick a handful off tonight, and no one would even notice. No one knew who he was. It would be so simple.

Chanyeol shook his head to clear it. No. He was better than this. He knew how it felt to be robbed of these precious years of life. No hunger or ease of prey was worthy of it.

Still, his feet moved of their own accord, following the winding sidewalks in the shadows of massive buildings. He wondered if there was a library here. There must be; it's a school after all.

Chanyeol found his way to the admissions building, which conveniently enough, had a map of campus. He wasn't too far off, as he scanned the piece of paper in his hand. It seemed that the university had been built around the library, which was dead center in the layout of the campus. He knew where he needed to go.

~

On the fourth floor, he found it. An entire section dedicated to his kind. Not a huge selection, but definitely more books than he had expected to find. He pulled out a blue book with gold trim.

"A Brief History of Vampires."

Chanyeol snorted. Vampires dated as far back as humans did. There was nothing "brief" about either of their histories. Humans were cute sometimes.

He pulled out a chair and began to flick through the pages. So many falsehoods. Just absurd. Crucifixes had no effect on them. Garlic actually made humans more appealing to vampires, as it was one of the few things they could taste in blood. And most vampires, at least the ones Chanyeol knew, longed for anything that made them feel even the slightest bit human. It didn't take long for the book to start making him laugh. He tried to be quiet, but that proved difficult.

"Do you mind?"

Chanyeol looked up, hand moving to cover his mouth. The man standing before him looked angry, though that probably added to how attractive Chanyeol found him. Honey blond hair. Soft eyes behind glasses. Lips in a pout. Not quite as tall as he was, but only slightly shorter. Broad shoulders. And thighs. God, those thighs.

"Some of us have a thesis to work on. Keep it down, alright?"

Chanyeol blinked. Then nodded.

"Sure. I-I'm sorry."

The man gave a curt nod before walking back to his table, books piled to a dangerous height. Chanyeol took a deep breath. It was time to head home.

~

Enough time had passed. He couldn't avoid it any longer.

Chanyeol walked into Baekhyun's library, heading straight for the couch and picking up the diary he had discarded so long ago. He could do this.

Reading about Baekhyun's life from his own perspective was a gift Chanyeol felt undeserving of, but he kept reading anyway. He knew in the husk of his heart that Baekhyun had always meant for him to find it. The diary had been hiding in plain sight for decades. Chanyeol just hadn't been looking for it.

He smiled to himself. Baekhyun had always been talkative; he was so sure he had learned everything there was to know about his creator. In truth, he didn't know him at all. Chanyeol sat for hours, reading page after page. It felt like Baekhyun was there with him, talking to him with that same excitable energy he always had. Like everything was new, even though he'd lived every day a thousand times before. He was a third of the way through the diary when he found it.

"Minseok told me about death today. I'm not sure I believe him. Seems like an old timer just wanting to trick a kid for a laugh. I mean, human blood is our life force. Seems a bit silly that there's one random human out there that can kill each of us. And that we wouldn't know until we bit them that we'd found them."

Chanyeol gripped the diary with both hands. Baekhyun had said that he had found her, but it was too late. Minseok hadn't been lying. There it was, a beacon of hope in Chanyeol's bleak life.

"There's a human out there that can kill me."

But how was he to find that human?


	2. Blood on the Pine

Chanyeol was ravenous. His heart had always been too human to kill more than absolutely necessary for him to get by. The new found information that his death was pumping through someone's veins at this very moment snapped something inside him, letting the darkness flow. His fangs, normally well hidden, and never produced except for the initial bite to feed, were on constant display. Chanyeol's eyes, normally a deep brown, began to tinge red at the edges. He had to get a hold on himself.

Daytime feeding was a rare occurrence, but he couldn't even step outside these days into the sun. He looked absolutely terrifying. After 400 years of keeping a low profile, never meeting neighbors, moving if someone got suspicious, he couldn't blow his cover now, just because the sweet release of death was out there. If caught, he would spend his life in prison, unable to die for all eternity.

Chanyeol had never not had control over his body. Not even when he was a newly turned vampire. He supposed Baekhyun was the driving force behind that control, nurturing him and comforting him, letting Chanyeol feed from him when things got too intense. Chanyeol didn't know any other vampires. He had no one to turn to, nowhere to go.

So he returned back to the only place that gave him any comfort. The library, the pages of Baekhyun's diary. He spent hours reading and rereading. Baekhyun's handwriting, elaborate, delicate, speaking to him from centuries before they met. Most vampires didn't bother with their creations, turning them and leaving without a trace. Baekhyun was different. Had always been different. The fondness Chanyeol felt for him brought him pain now; he had taken it all for granted.

The hours until twilight passed slowly, the sun taking its time meeting the horizon. Chanyeol paced, an uncomfortable itch under his skin. Any other month, he would only have taken down maybe seven humans total, preferring the fatigue over the guilt. He had killed double that in just two days.

"You've got to slow down," the voice in his head told him. Chanyeol was trapped between wanting it to be over, and wanting to be safe until it was. Only one tonight. Just one.

The clock had just struck two in the morning when the need to hunt finally overwhelmed him. The humanity in him, the humanity instilled by Baekhyun, had always left a dull ache in his heart when he hunted. The blood tasted metallic, hadn't felt satisfying since he was newly turned. There was nothing pleasurable, nothing exciting about it. A necessary evil that felt...well...evil.

With that humanity broken, the hunt was what it should have been from the beginning: exhilarating, challenging, the cries of his victims intoxicating. He noticed very quickly that every human had an aura around them, a smell, something that appealed to him. But none of them ever did the job. His life still stretched on before him.

It took all of ten minutes for him to find her. She smelled like fresh laundry. Her brown hair went past her shoulders, the strands blocking the source of her scent. Chanyeol couldn't wait to wrap his fist around her hair, to use it to pull her head to the side and expose her neck. To feel his fangs pierce the soft skin just below her ear.

"Dami! Get inside!"

Chanyeol looked up, an older woman staring at him from a balcony as he prowled after the girl. Shit. There went his dinner. He turned around, walking back toward the house. The hunt was over, the risk too great to continue.

~

Chanyeol spent the rest of the early morning hours trying to get his fangs to retract. It was a natural occurrence, one he had never had to think about doing. When he found a human, they extended down from his gums. After the initial bite, they immediately disappeared. Having them out at all times was difficult for a whole mess of reasons, but the one that annoyed him most was the most obvious. His fangs were destroying the inside of his mouth. His cheeks, lips, tongue. All of them, ripped open and raw. There just wasn't room in his mouth for them.

Chanyeol's fingertips were bleeding, too. Turns out, vampires cannot merely shove their fangs back into their hiding spot. If it wasn't something brute force could fix, then it had to be something subconscious. He needed to get back to a centered state. But how?

He drank tea. Tried to meditate. Read more textbooks. Cleaned up a bit. Everything he had done for the past 400 years, and during his human life before. Nothing seemed to touch it. Something was missing.

Baekhyun's voice replayed over and over again in his mind.

"You must stop before the heart stops. Dead blood won't kill you, but it tastes awful. You'll feel the heart begin to slow. Stop then. It will be difficult until you get used to it. When the thrumming evens out, snap their neck. They won't feel death coming for them then. It is the least you can do."

Chanyeol had been dumbfounded in the beginning. All the horror movies he watched as a kid, none of the vampires cared for the humans they fed from. He had expected to be told to just rip their throats out.

"You must be kind in your actions, Chanyeol. Every drop of blood is precious. Every life is precious. You must give them a dignified death. If you can't grant them that small kindness, you're nothing but a monster. And I know you, Chanyeol. You are not a monster."

"I am not a monster."

His mind had forgotten. His body did, too. But here, in his unbeating heart, the memory remained. Things shifted back into focus. The familiar slide of his fangs retreating was a blessing. Chanyeol ran his tongue along his teeth. Human. Normal.

He checked his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were still tinged with red. A sigh escaped his lips. There was nothing to be done.

~

After a week of hiding out in the house, Chanyeol deemed the coast clear. He was starting to feel weak; his body had gotten used to the blood feast, and pulling back so suddenly had left him feeling out of sorts.

Chanyeol looked out to the campus laid before him. It was too easy to get caught around here. He decided to hunt away from home for a bit. Cover his tracks in anyway he could. There were bars nearby, but that didn't appeal to him. Alcohol had made him vulnerable, and he didn't like to be reminded of the night he was turned. Not to mention, it made blood taste absolutely awful.

Instead, he settled for the forest surrounding the south end of the university. It stretched for miles, the campus trails only going in so far before your feet met dirt and sticks. Chanyeol could easily take someone down in here, make it look like a hiker got lost, had an accident. It was risky behavior to be out here, alone at night. A twist of the ankle, a fall down a steep incline. He knew just how to frame it.

It was pretty out, the air just starting to turn crisp at night. If he were capable of breath, he was sure he would be able to see it in front of him as he walked. The moon was almost full, casting a warm glow through the leaves of the trees, just starting to shift from green to yellow. Moments like these, he missed being truly alive. He felt no chill on his skin, and it left him feeling a bit hollow.

Chanyeol walked for hours, moving deeper into the forest, his ears on high alert for any movement. Short of squirrels and rabbits moving around a bit, there was no sign of life, no whiff of humanity. He was just beginning to think he should retrace his steps when he smelled it. A drop of blood in the ocean.

Someone was bleeding here in the woods.

Chanyeol moved with great haste, his footsteps careful and silent after centuries of stalking prey. He followed the trail of blood to a clearing in the center of the forest. Hiding behind the treeline, he gasped, barely audible.

Another vampire had a middle aged man pinned against the trunk of a pine tree, blood streaming from a gash in his neck. He had heard Chanyeol's intake of breath, eyes fixed on him. Chanyeol couldn't believe it.

He had never encountered another vampire in his 400 years beside Baekhyun. His creator had told him that out of fear, vampires didn't inhabit the same area. It was too suspicious. Back in the old days, before modern medicine, it hadn't mattered as much. People died at a young age for various reasons. No one questioned an entire village being wiped out. Disease was common; burning it to the ground, a blessing. Containment was key. But now, with medicine and surveillance on every street, it was all too easy to get caught.

The other vampire moved in the blink of an eye. Chanyeol didn't even have time to react, the breath on his neck sending a chill down his spine.

"Baekhyun's boy. Come here to claim the forest now that he's dead?"

Chanyeol recoiled at the way the vampire said Baekhyun's name. He jerked away, putting as much distance between them as possible.

"Baekhyun has been gone over two centuries. If I wanted your space, I would have made a move by now."

The vampire smiled, licking his fangs in an obscene manner.

"I've kept my distance out of respect for your creator. Do not test me, boy."

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. He looked younger than he was.

"I'm over 400 years old. I'm hardly a boy."

"You're still a boy, since you remember your age. I can remember when Baekhyun was human."

Chanyeol flinched. Baekhyun was one of the oldest vampires to walk the earth. If this one knew him as human...

"Sehun. I guess you could call me your grandfather."

"You? You turned Baekhyun?"

Sehun nodded, a smirk on his face. He began to circle Chanyeol, long limbs moving elegantly, a juxtaposition to his face, which was covered in crusted blood.

"I didn't have the relationship with him that he had with you. I suppose you owe me some gratitude for that. He didn't want to abandon you, like he thought I had with him."

"He never mentioned you. I never knew you still existed."

"I'm not surprised. I was banished when the first laws were written. As you can see," he pointed to the man lying dead a few feet from them, "I do things a little differently."

Chanyeol could understand now why Baekhyun had been adamant about being clean, merciful. His maker had no humanity in him.

"I thought our kind were better. So I set out to create as many of us as I could. They wanted me dead, but they couldn't do anything. Baekhyun wouldn't allow it. Said he'd keep an eye on me. He was naive enough to believe Minseok's lies. That I would find my death soon enough, the way I tore through humans."

"Why do you call it a lie? How else would Baekhyun be gone from this life?"

Sehun nodded. He supposed he couldn't call it a lie.

"I have the secret you've been searching for."

Chanyeol was really getting annoyed at this point.

"With all due respect, I know that there's one human out there for me. I don't need your help."

A wry chuckle left Sehun's lips. He shook his head. Kids today. So entitled. Bunch of know-it-all brats.

"Oh, you sweet, summer child. That knowledge isn't enough. But if you don't need my help, I certainly won't give it to you."

Sehun pointed to the man next to them.

"Take care of that for me. Will you?"

In the time it took Chanyeol to respond, he was gone.

~

Chanyeol had rolled the body to the edge of the forest, where the trees met a lake. He weighed the body down and released it off the cliff's ledge. Slowly, the body sank deeper and deeper, Chanyeol's eyes straining to watch it hit the bottom.

He sprinted back through the forest, only slowing down as campus came back into view. It was hard enough disposing of his own kills. The fear that bubbled in his chest at having to now potentially clean up Sehun's messes was too much for him in his weakened state. The elder seemed like one to act out of spite. If that were the case, Chanyeol was royally fucked.

Not wanting to go home, the thoughts too busy in his head, he walked toward the library. Maybe the human books could relax his mind for a bit.

~

Chanyeol slowly climbed the stairs, up to the fourth floor, his limbs heavier than he could ever remember them being. He searched along the titles, finding, of all things, a children's book.

"How to Make Friends with Vampires: a Guide to Keep Yourself from Becoming Food."

Chanyeol giggled. Vampires didn't need friends. That kind of longing was a human emotion, easily forgotten when it had been a fortnight since his last meal. Even Baekhyun couldn't deny the hunger.

He flipped through the pages, happy to find that vampires weren't being completely vilified. Maybe the author was one of his kind.

Chanyeol heard a *thump* a few tables down. A man had apparently fallen asleep while taking notes, his head sliding off his hand and smacking the desk below it. Ouch. Chanyeol was on his feet before he realized what he was doing.

"You alright?"

As the man looked up, Chanyeol realized he had seen him before. It was the same guy, the one who had scolded him for being too loud. Did he live here or something?

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just been here too long. Papers don't write themselves."

The man pushed his glasses back up his nose, a faint blush on his cheeks. He was too exhausted to be embarrassed.

"No, they sure don't. I remember trying to get my thesis in order. It was a disaster."

"Oh? Are you a doctorate candidate now?"

Chanyeol looked down. That had been a dream of his, a long, long time ago. Before...

"No. I, uh, I had to drop out of my graduate program. I...I got sick."

The man finally looked Chanyeol in the eye.

"That's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that."

Chanyeol nodded. There wasn't anything else to say. He didn't want to get too involved, and for reasons unknown, he didn't want to lie, either. He decided to shift the focus of the conversation away from himself.

"What's your thesis about?"

"Kinships' impact on the lives of humans."

"You do know that you're in the vampire section?"

The man took off his glasses, set them in a case that was resting on a pile of books.

"I see. You're one of those people."

Chanyeol's eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but he certainly didn't care for the connotation.

"Please. Enlighten me. What kind of people?"

He fixed Chanyeol with an annoyed stare.

"Someone who doesn't think we can coexist. Humans and vampires."

"Well, we can't."

The man narrowed his eyes at Chanyeol. Chanyeol glared right back.

"All your education, and you think beings that used to be human can't remember how to be human?"

"No. I don't believe that's true."

"Then what?"

Chanyeol never imagined himself in this position. The most human interaction he'd had, outside of the past few minutes, was apologizing as he bit down, and again as he snapped their neck. He didn't go out of his way to form relationships with them or with his own kind. Fear had kept him an island. But now, now he was torn. Did he make up some excuse? Have this argument? Walk away?

Chanyeol released his fangs, eyes going black.

"Because it's hard to ignore food when you're always hungry."

The man leaned back, eyes wide, his mouth hanging open like he wanted to scream, but no sound came out. Chanyeol leaned forward, fangs sinking into his own lips, blood trickling down his chin.

"Ever seen a vampire before?"

He shook his head.

"You scared?"

He nodded quickly.

Chanyeol took a few steps back, retracted his fangs, let his eyes return to their usual color. He waited, arms crossed over his chest, for the man to say something, do something.

"Why--why didn't you bite me?"

"If I wanted to kill you, I would have followed you home the last time we spoke. You've seen my face. Too risky."

"But I know what you are now. I could tell everyone."

Chanyeol scoffed.

"You and I both know you're not going to do that."

"Why not? I could, you know!"

"You could. I wouldn't, though. Would take me no time at all to find your family. You wouldn't want them turned, would you? Or bled dry in front of you?"

The man stood up.

"I don't believe you'd do that. And I wouldn't expose you. That's the whole point of this thesis. To show we can live amongst each other."

Chanyeol smiled. This kid was too much. Sweet and scared, the scent radiated off him. He had no idea, the effect it could have on a vampire. Chanyeol had to fight to keep his fangs retracted.

"Do you really think we can't coexist?"

"In general, we can. Most vampires don't want to cause problems or draw attention to themselves. But at the end of the day, we gotta eat, and you're all we've got at the moment."

The man sat back down, nodding to himself. Chanyeol could see the cogs turning in his brain. He almost felt bad for scaring the kid, but hey. Naivety is the easiest way to get yourself killed.

"I never thought I'd meet someone like you."

"Well, technically, you haven't. My name's Chanyeol. What's your name?"

"Jongin. Nice to meet you, Chanyeol."

"Likewise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am hoping to post new chapters on Thursdays, since I will be finishing up Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die! a week from Sunday, and should have more time to commit to writing this. Thank you for taking the time to read it. It makes my heart so happy. You could be doing literally anything else in the world, and yet, you decided to read my fic. It is my dream. As always, kudos and comments give me the fire to continue writing, so drop one or both if you'd like.
> 
> Have a great weekend!


	3. Teeth and Nails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this is so late. I've had a lot going on lately, and I just couldn't bring myself to write. Please, forgive me. I will try to stick to the schedule as best I can. Hope you enjoy.

Chanyeol could feel Jongin's eyes on him. It had been ten minutes since he'd bothered to look up. The situation had turned awkward after their introduction, and rather than do or say something to ease it, Chanyeol leaned into it, let it fester. As more time passed, though, it became less fun.

"You don't have any questions?"

He lifted his eyes, watched Jongin swallow air as he tried to formulate words.

"I--Well, yes, but isn't it rude?"

"Depends on what you ask, or potentially, how you ask it."

"R-right."

Jongin grabbed at a notebook that was wedged between two giant encyclopedias. He opened it to a fresh page, clicking his pen against the tabletop before meeting Chanyeol's eyes again.

"Is this research now?"

"I would...with your permission, I would like to take some notes, yes."

Chanyeol waved a hand at Jongin, an annoyed but willing participant.

"Does it hurt when your fangs come in?"

Chanyeol smiled. He figured that his fangs would be at the top of the list. It would be his first question, too.

"No. You know how it feels to run your tongue along your gums? It feels like that, but instead of going across, it goes down."

"Can you control them?"

"Actually, I had never needed to until recently. But yes, there is some control there. It is normally an involuntary impulse. I decide on a human, and as I hunt them, they descend. After the initial bite, they retract."

Jongin was writing furiously in the notebook, like he was afraid to miss even the tiniest detail. He looked back up at Chanyeol, an odd expression on his face.

"Can-can I see them?"

Chanyeol crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.

"You already have."

"I know, but I was scared. I didn't really get to study them."

Chanyeol sighed deep, leaning forward again toward Jongin. He concentrated on the hunger in his stomach, the proximity of a human nearby. Slowly, his fangs dropped down.

"Wow. I always thought it was just canines."

Chanyeol nodded. He'd thought so, too, when he was a human. Jongin drew a rough sketch of the vampire's mouth, the razor sharp incisors as well as the long canines. When the grad student had finished his drawing, Chanyeol retracted his fangs.

"Your eyes didn't change color."

"Hmm?"

"Your eyes? They were black earlier. They look normal."

"It's tied to emotion. I wanted to scare you, so my body reacted to your fear. Now that we understand each other, there's nothing to make them change."

Jongin nodded, though he wasn't sure he quite understood. This was...a lot. To go from potential meal to conducting an interview was...wild.

"How old are you?"

"Young, though in comparison to you, I am quite old. I have walked this earth undead for over 400 years now."

"And you're considered young?"

Chanyeol nodded.

"I know of a vampire that is at least 3000 years old."

Jongin dropped his pen. He had been told they lived extended lives, but he had never imagined that a single vampire could have lasted so long.

"Can nothing kill you?"

"I respectfully decline to answer that question."

Jongin reached out to grab one of Chanyeol's hands, flinching as his fingers touched the icy surface.

"I'm sorry. That was an inappropriate question. Forgive me."

Chanyeol shook his head.

"No need to apologize. You're curious. I understand. I can tell you this: the books you've read, the movies you've watched, don't have it right."

Jongin's face seemed to pale a bit. Chanyeol was sure it was tough hearing that everything he believed to be true about vampires was, well, misinformed at best, a lie at worst.

"Can I ask one more question?"

"Only if I can ask one of you after I answer."

Jongin nodded, swallowing hard before the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"What's it like to die?"

Chanyeol's face fell. Of all the questions he was expecting, that certainly wasn't one of them. He combed back through his memory, every sensation still as fresh as the moment it had happened. Thinking of Baekhyun still hurt. He exhaled hard through his mouth before beginning.

"I was drunk. I don't know if it made it less terrifying or more terrifying. He caught me in an alleyway walking home. I was his first creation, his only creation. It--it hurt. God. Like I could feel every cell and nerve split open as he bit me. I screamed and begged and pleaded. It was too late. He didn't even need to drink from me to have killed me. Baekhyun knew where to bite to make it fatal. I--he--there was something in me that was different. So, he slit his wrist open and put it to my lips. I didn't want it. I fought him, which only made me bleed out faster. In the end, I made a choice. One that I don't know that I would do over again. But that's not what you asked. I don't know what it's like to fully die. I only know what it's like for your body to die. It's like--everything goes rigid. Like, all your cells suddenly have walls around them. Your lungs don't need air. Your heart doesn't beat. Everything just...stops. It doesn't necessarily hurt, but it was the single most frightening sensation I've ever experienced. You gain things, abilities, beyond what humans are capable of. But the loss. The great loss of...everything you know and love. I'm not sure it's worth it."

When Chanyeol finally looked up, Jongin had his eyes locked on him. No new notes, no further questions. Just sad eyes and silence. What could the human possibly say?

"You have a question for me?"

Chanyeol blinked. In his reverie, he'd almost forgotten.

"Why vampires? Why do you care so much?"

Jongin looked away, suddenly shy.

"You're gonna laugh."

"I'll try not to. I can't make any promises."

"You're going to find it hilarious or be offended. I'm not sure which is worse at this point."

Chanyeol sat, let the silence drag on, until it ate at Jongin enough for him to finally respond.

"When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say 'vampire.' I thought it was a job, something anyone could be. I...didn't realize that it wasn't real. Well, you know what I mean."

"That's adorable. Four year old Jongin wanting to grow up to be a monster."

"I just. I thought they were beautiful. And the bonds they seemed to have with each other. I...wanted to know what that felt like. And then, when evidence that vampires actually existed started popping up, when they showed themselves in the light...it. It felt like it could be real."

"You romanticize something you know nothing about."

"Teach me, then. Please."

Chanyeol stood up from the table.

"I cannot. You would never be able to grasp the concept in your short life."

"That's unfair of you to say. You don't even know me."

"It is not a dig at you. Not even one at your kind. It is a simple fact. It took me centuries to fully accept what I was, and what I've become. You just don't have enough time, Jongin. And I can't give you more."

"Can't? Or won't?"

Chanyeol lept over the table, grabbing Jongin by the throat, lifting him up into the air.

"You do not know what you ask of me. Do not think it a simple task."

He set Jongin down, eyes red, muscles rigid. Jongin collapsed to the floor, hands at his neck, trying to will air back into his lungs.

"I didn't ask you for anything."

"No, but I can see it in your heart. The way you think you want this life. I made a blood oath. I cannot go back."

"God, your creator must have been awful, the way you can't let it go."

The speed with which Chanyeol slapped Jongin across the face startled even himself. The blood trickled down from his lip, Chanyeol's eyes locked on it. Not enough to be bothered with, but he couldn't look away for some reason.

"Baekhyun did nothing wrong. I have forgiven him. And he spent his life giving me everything I ever asked for. Support, friendship, wisdom, love, comfort. All of it. Don't you ever speak ill of him, or I will bleed you dry just to do it. Understood?"

"Ah. There it is. He's gone. He left you behind. You're bitter."

"It wasn't his choice. Pack up your things. I'm bored of this conversation, and you need to go home."

Jongin slowly pulled himself up from the floor.

"Oh, I need a vampire escort?"

Chanyeol threw a book at his head, the human barely managing to duck in time.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you will attract another of my kind with that cut on your lip, and he will bite you just to watch you squirm. Move it."

~

Chanyeol was grateful that Jongin lived toward his side of campus, away from the forest. He wouldn't have been able to fight off Sehun. For one, he knew he wasn't strong enough; the elder had thousands of years and regular meals against him. For another, they would be on Sehun's turf.

Jongin kept looking around, trying to find whomever it was Chanyeol was protecting him from. He never saw anyone at this hour when he walked back from the library. Maybe he just wasn't looking hard enough.

"Is it here?"

"What?"

"The vampire you're scared of."

Chanyeol stopped walking, but didn't say anything. He couldn't make a rebuttal. He was absolutely terrified of Sehun, of what he could do.

"This area belonged to Baekhyun. In his passing, it became mine. That vampire knows his place. As do I."

"Why don't you live together? Share space? Comfort?"

Chanyeol began walking again, pace brisk. Jongin struggled to keep up, his human legs and lungs much slower.

"Vampires live a solitary existence. And even if we didn't, I would never allow him near me."

Jongin finally caught up, breath escaping him as he tried to respond.

"Sounds like bad blood to me."

Chanyeol nodded.

"Are we close? I would like to call it a night soon."

"We're-we're still about five blocks away."

Chanyeol stamped his foot, grabbing Jongin by the arm.

"Let's speed up the process, shall we? Hold tight."

Chanyeol zipped through the five blocks in about three seconds. He let go of Jongin, who promptly dropped to the ground, looking green.

"Sorry. You'd get used to it, if it's any consolation."

Jongin swallowed the bile in his throat.

"I'm never doing that again."

Jongin got up and walked off. Two houses up the road, Chanyeol watched as he pulled out his keys and let himself inside. Jongin gave him a wave before heading in.

~

Chanyeol was speed walking through the street when an object moving equally fast ran into him. He didn't even need to open his eyes to know what had happened. He laid there, pain radiating through his body like he hadn't felt in years, maniacal laughter all around him.

"He can go incorporeal. Great."

All at once, the laughter found a center, and a body began to take shape. Chanyeol tried to find his feet, but was only able to make it to a seated position before Sehun spoke.

"Can't believe you walked such a meal home. Didn't even make an attempt at him, or an attempt to hide him. Surely, Baekhyun taught you better than that."

Chanyeol bristled at the mention of Baekhyun, his limbs starting to remember how to function.

"You're in my territory, Sehun. I would tread lightly if I were you."

Sehun smiled, walking over to Chanyeol, placing the heel of his boot gently over Chanyeol's hand.

"Oh? And what would you do?"

He ground his heel in, breaking the skin on Chanyeol's hand, his blood running thin at the cut.

"Chanyeolie, it's been too long. Look how lifeless you are. This is no way to live."

Chanyeol seized forward, grabbing Sehun's thigh with his right hand, his nails digging into the flesh. Blood began to pour from Sehun's leg, as Chanyeol reached further and further in. As soon as he felt his fingers touch, he ripped his hand back, removing a chunk of muscle and tissue from Sehun's leg.

As quickly as he had reanimated, he disintegrated in front of Chanyeol's eyes.

"If I ever catch him in my territory, he's mine."

~

Chanyeol ran up to the house he had watched Jongin enter. He pounded on the door, frantic. Seconds that felt like hours ticked by before he detected movement in the house. Someone was peeking out an upstairs window. Chanyeol looked up to face the person, hoping it was Jongin, and he would recognize him. A moment later, lights began flicking on, a path leading downstairs. The door opened.

"Chanyeol, my roommates have class in a few hours. They're gonna be pissed--"

"You have bigger problems than angry roommates."

"What?"

"Pack a bag. You're coming with me."

Jongin seemed confused, when he should have been completely terrified. He turned his back on Chanyeol, going through the front door, leaving it wide open. After a few moments, Jongin realized he wasn't behind him.

"Aren't you going to come in?"

"I can't."

Jongin thought a moment.

"Chanyeol, won't you please come in?"

The vampire stepped forward through the door, closing and locking it behind him. He stood there, the silence deafening between the two of them.

"Pack. Please. Now. We don't have a lot of time."

"I don't understand."

"Jongin. I will tell you everything, but we have to go. There's no time. Move. Please."

Jongin turned on his heel and headed up the stairs. He came back about five minutes later. Chanyeol looked even more pale than he usually did. The vampire had a cloth held to each wrist.

"What have you done?!"

"A warding spell to protect your roommates. Sehun won't know they live here, so they can't be used to get to you."

"A what? Who's Sehun? What do you mean 'to get to me'?"

Chanyeol grabbed Jongin by the wrist, pulling him out onto the street. He swayed a bit, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do.

"I told you I wasn't doing that ever again."

"I have no choice. Believe me. It won't be as fast."

"Chanyeol, wait! I--"

Jongin felt the rush of Chanyeol moving them, the jolt in his stomach not nearly as jarring as it had been the first time. They definitely were only at about a quarter of the speed of their initial run. It took a few minutes to get back to the manor.

"You live in this condemned house?"

Chanyeol looked up at it. The roof and windows needed work, but he'd hardly call it condemned.

"Yes. And now, so do you."

Chanyeol limped his way through the front door, leaving Jongin to look up at the porch with his mouth open.

"Jongin, won't you please come inside?"

~

Chanyeol's wrists had finally closed back up. The scabbed skin was weak over his wounds. He needed to feed. Soon.

"I don't understand any of this."

Chanyeol had tried, three times already, to convey the situation to the human sitting across from him. So much for the third time being the charm.

"Sehun knows about you. Knows you know about me. Believes there's a connection between us. He's after you. You're safe here."

"But my roommates aren't!"

"They are protected as best I can. Hopefully, once he realizes you're gone, he will focus on the manor. Remember, he cannot enter if he's not invited."

"But you said he can disintegrate! What if he sneaks in as dust?!"

"We have time to figure things out."

"Then why did you come to the house?!"

"Because I panicked. Listen. He's wounded. He will need to feed before his body can repair what I've done, but he's in no condition to hunt right now. And if he's anything like I think he is, he doesn't hunt during the day. The sun will be coming up in an hour. That buys us time. So just take a fucking breath, okay?!"

Chanyeol was exhausted. Everything felt dry, like there had never been a single drop of moisture in or around his body. He was miserable, and being asked a million questions was not improving his mood.

Jongin paced the sitting room. How in the actual shit had he gotten himself into this mess?

"I should have never spoken to you."

"Perhaps not, but be grateful I walked you home. You'd be dead with your throat ripped out right now. He wasn't following me. He could smell you."

Jongin whirled around to face Chanyeol.

"Smell me? What the-? I don't-"

"Your lip. It wasn't bleeding, but it's an open wound. Vampires might as well be sharks out of water."

"So it's still your fault! I wouldn't have been bleeding if not for you!"

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. Typical humanity. Pettiness. Fighting over who was right. Worthless.

"Listen, kid. The toothpaste is out of the tube. There's no going back now. So you can piss and moan if you like, but that won't help me save you or your friends. Decide now: are you going to be a petulant child, whining about your misfortune, or are you going to get angry and fight for your life?"

Jongin moved to the couch. He was still pouting, just not being as vocal about it. He folded his arms across his chest, sighed loudly.

"Fine. What do you need?"

"Something you can't give me. But there are other things you could do to help."

"Like?"

"Can you carry me upstairs?"

~

Jongin rearranged Chanyeol on his back. The flight of stairs up to the library was rickety and steep. One misstep, and they'd both roll all the way back down.

Chanyeol weakly pointed to the second door on the righthand side. Jongin eased their way over to it, pushing the door open with his hip. The vampire smiled at the gasp the human let out upon seeing the sheer amount of books contained in the small room.

"What I am about to do is considered treason, but it is the only way. I need you to find me a red book with gold trim. I have to lie down."

Chanyeol moved to the sofa, tucking Baekhyun's diary out of sight. Of all the pages Jongin could sift through, Chanyeol wanted to protect these the most.

Jongin scanned the shelves, searching high and low for this particular book. He could feel heat creeping up his limbs, at the back of his neck. His skin felt like it was being pricked with thousands of needles.

"Chanyeol?!"

"Push through it, Jongin. Please."

"Why are you doing this to me?!"

"I'm not. They're Baekhyun's spells. I have no power over it."

Jongin began to feel the air leave his lungs. His eyes whirled around frantically, body dropping to the floor. Chanyeol sat up slowly. He couldn't help him.

"Jongin. Get out of this room! Move! Go!"

The human lunged forward, an attempt to get him away from the bookcase. His nails broke as he scratched along the floorboards, trying to flee the room. The sight of the blood awoke something in Chanyeol. He staggered toward Jongin, and in one fluid motion, threw him from the room, the only sound in his ears two thuds. One when Jongin landed, the other as his own body connected with the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jongin's confession about wanting to grow up to be a vampire, is actually a personal anecdote of my own. I genuinely thought it was a job, that it was something I could grow up and be. Talk about devastated when I found out I had to do human things. Sigh.
> 
> Anyhoodle, thank you for your patience while I get this all situated. Hope your lives are going smoothly. Drop a kudos or a comment if you feel like it, or have a question.
> 
> Have a great morning/afternoon/night!


	4. Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. I have been trapped in the world of someone else's writing, and only now have come back up for air. Thank you for your patience. Hope you enjoy.

Jongin awoke to a freezing hand on his face. His entire body ached, like he'd gotten the flu while running a marathon. Even his eyelids were sore. Tentatively, he opened one eye, then the other.

"Hi."

Chanyeol let out a harsh breath, fingers scratching against Jongin's scalp. It had taken him forty-five minutes to get the human to stir. He was beginning to succumb to the fear that Jongin wouldn't wake up.

"I'm so sorry."

Jongin arched into Chanyeol's touch, body tense, fear still clutching his heart. Whatever had happened in that room, whatever had touched him, it was powerful. Too powerful. He had been helpless against it.

"Did you know? When you asked me?"

"No. But I should have. Baekhyun never left anything to chance. Of course, he would guard the library from human eyes. Foolish. He taught me better."

Jongin watched as Chanyeol looked off, down the hall. If it were possible, the hand in his hair got colder, the movement shaky. Jongin lifted a hand up to Chanyeol's.

"He was strong, huh? You miss him. Feel lost without him."

Chanyeol gave Jongin a brief glance, retracted his hand. A whisper of a nod of acknowledgement.

"If I leave, will you be alright?"

Jongin tried to sit up, but his body was too heavy. He settled onto his side, slowly flexing his feet. His body needed to remember how to move.

"Where are you going?"

Chanyeol couldn't meet Jongin's eyes.

"It's been weeks since I...well, you're going to be living here. You'll have to get used to it. I'm hungry, and I need to eat if I'm going to be of any use to you or your friends."

Jongin closed his eyes against the response. He didn't want to think about it. Any of it. But especially not Chanyeol being capable of killing someone, of his need to kill people.

"Now you understand. Immortality is all fun and games until you actually have to take life to keep your own. Believe me, Jongin. I long to be free of it."

Jongin's eyes snapped open.

"You don't want it."

"I wasn't given a choice. Baekhyun did what he thought was right. Maybe not what was right for me, but..."

"What do you mean?"

Chanyeol closed his eyes. Took in a breath that his lungs hadn't required in centuries.

"I think. No. I know. I know he was lonely. I didn't want to die, and he didn't want to be alone. He...he thought we could both be happy, that he could give us both what we craved."

Chanyeol stood, slow, with great effort.

"Stay here. Do not wander. I don't know what rooms are warded against you. I do not want to return to find your corpse."

He didn't wait for a response before turning to the staircase and starting down.

~

Chanyeol hated hunting in the daylight. The potential for witnesses was too high. There was nothing to be done. It had to be now. He just had to hope it was early enough. Just the one, maybe two. Take the edge off, until he could come back later.

He walked, the morning sun just starting to spread tendrils of light across the sky. Not a human in sight, the only sound birds greeting the day. His normal pace was impossible to keep at this point, but maybe that would work to his advantage. Chanyeol stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, taking a knee as his reflexes struggled to hold him upright.

"Sir? Do you need help?"

Chanyeol looked up. He hadn't even heard her approach. She shuffled out from between the trees, crouching down next to him. Out for a morning jog, Chanyeol assumed. He could see the sweat on her forehead trickle down her face, onto her neck. Every vein in her body called out to him. He hardened his heart. There was no other way.

"Yes. Could-could you help me to my feet, please?"

Chanyeol took a brief look around with his vampire eyes, let his ears take in every sound. They were alone. As she leaned down, placing his arm around her neck, he embraced her, shoved her back toward the trees. She opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. Chanyeol wrapped a hand around her neck, pulled her head to the side.

"It'll be fast. Forgive me."

He felt tears on his hands as he sunk his fangs into her neck. Blood flowed freely down his throat. He could feel his muscles begin to awaken, his senses sharpen. It had been too long. He hated hunting, but everytime he tasted the iron on his tongue, he was reminded how truly necessary it all was. As he felt the woman go limp, he jerked her head about quickly, her neck breaking with the force. Chanyeol lifted her, carried her further into the trees, found a resting place for her. Thanked her. He closed his eyes to the breeze at his cheek, her spirit taking flight. She was not the one for him.

~

Chanyeol could not bear to continue the hunt. Sadness crept into his bones as the woman's blood reanimated him. He cursed Baekhyun for his ways, for protecting his humanity. Everything was so much more difficult than it had to be. Mourning every victim, the guilt tainting the taste.

But did he really want to be Sehun? To kill for sport? To think of humans as only food? To let anger consume him? He couldn't imagine it, but he knew in his heart, that Sehun lived an easier life. If one could call their existence that.

Chanyeol found himself on the steps of his porch without realizing he was still moving. The sun was steadily rising, its light piercing his skin, nerves ablaze. He was still weak, fragile. The thought carried him through the doors.

"Jongin?"

Chanyeol heard shuffling off to his left, worry creeping in. He had expected noise from above him. When he turned toward the sitting room, he felt relief flood him.

"I knew this room was safe. Or, at least the couch was. The floor isn't too comfortable."

Chanyeol gave Jongin a small nod.

"You look...less dead."

Now that, that made Chanyeol smile.

~

Jongin eyed Chanyeol from across the room. The vampire had gone up and retrieved the book that had almost claimed his life, and was now nose deep in it, completely engrossed in whatever was written on the pages. He was still pale, but his skin didn't look sunken in, paper thin, anymore. Chanyeol's eyes were a warm brown, no red to be seen. His bottom lip, pink, where he held it between his teeth.

"I can feel your eyes, Jongin."

Jongin looked away immediately, heat collecting in his cheeks. He'd been caught. He couldn't explain it; the urge to stare was overwhelming.

"You needn't be embarrassed. You cannot help it."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Chanyeol set the book aside, giving Jongin a slow once over from across the room.

"You are meant to be drawn to me. To any of us. That's the whole point. We'd never eat if you weren't curious about us."

Jongin dropped his gaze to his lap. That seemed easier to swallow at the moment. His head was turned purely because Chanyeol was a vampire, not because Jongin necessarily liked what he saw.

"That isn't to say I wasn't attractive as a human. I was often told I was handsome. But like this? Only a select few would be able to resist, if I really wanted them."

Jongin scoffed.

"Were you this cocky as a human?"

"Not cocky. It's part of my gift. We all have special abilities. Baekhyun, God, he was something else. He could read your mind, leave false thoughts and memories there. Humans and vampires alike. I only ever saw him do it once. It was terrifying."

"What happened? How do you know he never did it to you?"

Chanyeol crossed his right leg over his left, ran a hand through his hair.

"He promised me he never would. Told me how I could tell I was being manipulated. It never happened. Baekhyun never lied to me. I often wished he would. Anyway, I saw it in his eyes, the way they went violet at the edges. A human, when I was newly turned, just starting to hunt on my own, got away from me. Baekhyun always cleaned up my messes. He convinced him that we were his brothers, our home his. It was the only time Baekhyun broke one of his own rules. And he did it to save me."

"What rule?"

"Never. Never was I to feed within these walls."

Jongin nodded slowly.

"Is that why I'm safe here? You won't break Baekhyun's rules? Even now?"

Chanyeol got up from his seat, crossed the room to sit on the couch with Jongin. He reached out, a fingernail running down the human's cheek. Jongin shivered.

"As I've said before, Jongin. If I wanted to drain you dry, you would already be dead."

It didn't bring Jongin any peace of mind.

~

"I apologize for the lack of entertainment. Baekhyun was born before the written word. Needless to say, he never valued television."

Jongin laughed, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Please. I have plenty to keep me occupied."

Jongin grabbed the bag he had hastily packed the night before. Chanyeol watched as he dumped its contents out onto the desk. The vampire had assumed, incorrectly, that the human had packed the essentials: toiletries, clothes, maybe a pillow. Nope. His thesis research was apparently more important than a toothbrush.

"Do you ever tire of it?"

Jongin shook his head as he organized the textbooks to his left, the various notebooks to his right.

"You have your research. I have mine. Though, I wish I could help with yours. Whatever is in those books must be fascinating, if Baekhyun's charms protecting them are anything to judge by."

Fascinating. That was a word for it. Chanyeol found the text off-putting, cruel. Perhaps Baekhyun should have waited a few centuries, turned Jongin instead. They would have made a fierce pair. Sehun's face flashed before Chanyeol's eyes. He could never allow it. Jongin could never be near him.

"Forgive me for not leaping for joy at the prospect of fighting against a vampire older than time itself. I'm still weak."

Jongin threw a pencil at Chanyeol, the pointed end catching him right in the sternum.

"You're only weak because you believe you are."

Chanyeol rolled his eyes.

"And what, young human, gives you the right to say so?"

"Because...because I am human. You-you were practically dead, and you threw me out of that room like I weighed nothing."

Chanyeol threw the pencil back, gentle. He had no desire to skewer the poor kid with it.

"I'm afraid your sense of strength is...somewhat lacking in this department. Not only does Sehun feed more regularly, not only does he have millennia on me in experience, he...his magic is more than I could ever hope to learn."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Sell yourself short. You're over 400 years old, and you're still alive without Baekhyun. That has to mean something, doesn't it?"

Chanyeol turned in his seat, his back to Jongin. Conversation terminated.

~

Chanyeol poured through the pages. There was nothing. He couldn't wipe Sehun's memory. He couldn't disguise them. There was nothing. Slamming the book shut, he laid his forehead flat against the desk.

"How long will your spell last?"

Chanyeol rolled his head to the side to look at Jongin. His hair was sticking straight up, where his hands had mussed it in concentration. His glasses were precariously perched on the end of his nose. Chanyeol reached a hand out, slid them up closer to Jongin's eyes.

"A week. Two at the most. And only if it isn't messed with."

Jongin smiled.

"The semester ends Friday. They'll go home for break. I'll tell them to find a new house."

"It's not that simple, Jongin. If he knows their faces..."

Jongin's face fell. Chanyeol felt his chest cave in.

"I never meant to...to cause you harm."

Jongin met his eyes, fingers wiping away the tears that had fallen onto his cheeks. He could see it, feel it, the humanity that radiated off the vampire. How was it possible, after all this time, after all the world had done to him, that he was still so fragile?

"Things happen. Beating yourself up for it doesn't help us fix it."

Chanyeol nodded. Jongin was young, and yet, his soul seemed to have lived a thousand years. In that moment, he knew; he had to protect him, no matter the cost.

~

Jongin had begged him, thrown himself across the door. In the end, it didn't matter. There was nothing else to be done. Chanyeol had lifted the poor boy, kicking and thrashing, and set him at the other side of the room.

"You will be safe here. I cannot promise you when, but I will return. Do not look for me."

"Chanyeol...please..."

He turned on his heel, shut the door behind him. The sidewalk seemed to come up to meet his feet. The moon was nearly full where it hung in the sky. A chilly wind made the trees sway around him, their leaves fluttering to the ground. Chanyeol steeled himself against it, kept walking forward.

The forest soon swallowed him, the fear pouring out of him. He didn't need to announce his presence; he was sure Sehun could already sense it. It didn't take long for him to return to the clearing within the pines. Moving to the center, he waited.

Chanyeol watched as the earth shifted beneath his feet, as the wind swept dirt and dust into a pile in front of him. As it grew to almost his full height, he clenched his fists, bared his fangs. No amount of fear was going to stop him.

"And here, I thought you'd come to apologize. I must confess, I am hurt."

The voice was disembodied, as the wind worked its magic in reanimating Sehun. Chanyeol waited until the vampire stood in front of him, flesh and bone. His eyes trailed down to Sehun's leg, still mangled.

"What is hurt? Your body or your pride?"

Sehun gave a biting laugh, the sound of it like shrapnel shooting through Chanyeol's ears. Sehun limped forward, took his face in his hands.

"That pretty mouth of yours. Did you ever snap at Baekhyun this way?"

Chanyeol held Sehun's stare, gave serious thought to biting down into one of the elder's hands. Sehun smiled, teeth shining in the moonlight.

"You must learn to control your emotions, little one. The mere mention of his name unravels you too easily."

"It is not his name that upsets me."

Sehun cocked his head to the side, tongue massaging a canine.

"No. No, I suppose not. It must be the way his name sits on my tongue. Why does it bother you so? He chose you, after all."

Chanyeol didn't know what Sehun meant. He didn't feel he should trust anything the vampire had to say. He forced his mind to stay blank, as blank as the expression on his face.

"How little did he teach you, boy? Poor thing."

Sehun petted down Chanyeol's cheek, pulled him closer. Chanyeol prickled immediately, his entire body tensing. Again, the same laugh from Sehun.

"Oh, I see. No one has touched you in this form. Pity. You had Baekhyun for all those years, and yet, you never experienced him for what he truly was."

Chanyeol stepped back to keep himself from clawing at Sehun's face.

"Do not speak of him that way."

"Chanyeollie, forgive me, but you cannot fault me for turning him. He was too beautiful to not live forever by my side."

"He never even made mention of you. What are you playing at?"

Sehun stepped forward, crowding Chanyeol, his face so close that Chanyeol could feel the puffs of his breath as he spoke.

"As I said. He chose you. I could not keep him once he created you."

Chanyeol looked into Sehun's green eyes. They were haunting, beautiful, fierce. As he held his gaze, a line he had read over and over again after Baekhyun's death finally made sense.

*Walk the road alone, unless you cast a shadow. There your company will be.*

"Baekhyun was your shadow."

"Yes, and you were his."

Chanyeol sat on the cold, hard ground. From the floor of the forest, he could truly see the damage he had caused Sehun, the way his leg still festered.

"So much you don't know, and yet, he taught you well."

Chanyeol wanted to shove his fingers into the wound. Filet it further. Infect it with all his anger and malice. Instead, he finally found his voice.

"I came here to ask you a favor. As the creator of my creator, I had hoped you would allow me this one kindness."

Sehun leaned against a tree, slid down it with his hurt leg extended. He considered Chanyeol for a moment before curling his fingers towards his palm, a silent, "let's hear it."

"I require your word that you will not harm anyone close to the human. I am sure you are aware that he is staying with me now. Please, leave the house, his friends, and family alone. Your quarrel is with me."

Sehun stuck a nail into the dirt at his side.

"You truly think me cruel."

"Are you saying the thought never crossed your mind?"

A chuckle, a cold breeze against his cheek. Sehun staring him down.

"If I wanted them dead, or maimed, you would have gone back to a house in flames, Chanyeol. I have no plans to harm that boy or his friends."

"Why not?"

Sehun crawled over, practically into Chanyeol's lap. He breathed along the line of the younger vampire's neck, up to the shell of his ear.

"Oh, you sweet, sweet boy. One day you will understand. The only one I wish to torture, the only one I have ever wished to torture, is you. It is too soon in your punishment for me to play my part."

Sehun leaned in, nibbled along Chanyeol's ear. Chanyeol tried to move, to run, but he found his limbs were lead. He couldn't even lift a finger in protest.

"You will beg me for mercy before this is over, Chanyeol."

As quickly as the heaviness had overtaken him, it left, Sehun's body nothing more than dirt and dust once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I mentioned, I fell into a fic. I have it bookmarked, if any of you want to check it out. It is called Pilgrimage, and it is written by okamiwind. It is...incredible.
> 
> Again, thank you for sticking with me through my random posting. Winter is hard for me, and I just. I struggle. Hope things are easier for you all.
> 
> Leave me a kudos and/or a comment if the mood strikes you.


	5. Challenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello. Back at it again. I really love this story. Hope you do, too.

Chanyeol walked up the path to the manor. The anger and uncertainty that bubbled in his veins had led him to take down three humans on his way home. Now that his body was fully rejuvenated, and Jongin's friends were safe, his mind had only one thing to focus on, obsess about. Sehun's words crawled beneath his skin.

As he opened the door, Chanyeol was tackled by the human. Had he not fed earlier, he would have been laid out, flat on his back in the doorway. Jongin must have been watching from the window.

"I wasn't expecting you back so soon. Are you hurt?"

Jongin peeled himself away from the vampire, eyes and hands roaming over him, looking for any sign of injury. Chanyeol let him. It was nice to have someone care for him, no matter how misguided that care was.

"I'm a vampire, Jongin. We heal?"

Jongin looked sheepish, dropped Chanyeol's arm.

"Oh. Right."

Chanyeol ruffled Jongin's hair. He was adorable.

"Anything happen while I was gone? Major breakthrough in your thesis?"

Jongin watched him walk into the sitting room, mouth fully agape. He couldn't be serious.

"Are you really going to pretend like you didn't just get back from confronting an evil elder about not killing me and my friends?"

Chanyeol took a seat on the couch, played with a tassel on one of the throw pillows. He hadn't really given much thought to what he was going to say when he returned home. Of course, Jongin would have questions. Chanyeol just wasn't sure he had proper answers.

"Well, the take away message, for you anyway, is that you and your friends are safe. He has no plans to harm any of you. At least for now."

Jongin blinked at him, incredulous.

"'At least for now'? Was that supposed to bring me comfort?"

Chanyeol rubbed his temples with two fingers. There was so much he didn't want to explain. So much he _couldn't_ explain. Exhaustion, not of the body, but of the mind, gripped him.

"It is no different than life itself, Jongin. Really. You know death is coming for you; you just don't know when. It is always there, in the back of your mind. Think of Sehun the same way. Bare minimum, find solace in the fact that you are not in immediate danger."

"You say that because you cannot die."

Chanyeol closed his eyes, took in a deep breath. It was unfair, the way mortality robbed humans of their peace of mind, the way it kept them from truly being alive. He hated that he couldn't articulate it to Jongin. For one thing, he didn't have the words. For another, even if he did, Chanyeol had no way to phrase them that wouldn't be condescending.

"I am sorry that I cannot see things from your perspective. Please understand that I value your life, and if I thought there was a threat to it, I would act. I do not see it in Sehun, so I cannot share in your panic."

Jongin walked into the sitting room, sat down on the ottoman in front of Chanyeol. He searched the vampire's face. For what, he wasn't sure. After a few moments, though, he gave up. Chanyeol was a vampire; he could easily hide from Jongin.

"What are your gifts? Don't lie."

"My gifts?"

Jongin sighed, exasperated.

"You know. Gifts. Like Baekhyun's mind reading?"

Chanyeol smiled. Jongin was like a sponge. He soaked up even the tiniest of details. It was endearing.

"Well, I can see across the county line. Hear a twig snap from half a mile away. But I'm not sure that's a unique talent."

Jongin tapped his fingers against his thigh, impatience getting the better of him. That wasn't what he meant, and Chanyeol knew it.

"Oh, fine. I...can manipulate emotion."

"What?"

"You remember when I said that only a few people would be able to resist me?"

Jongin nodded.

"Well, that's because they feel absolutely nothing toward me. But if there were even the tiniest bit of curiosity, of attraction, I-I can amplify it."

Jongin felt a wave of uneasiness wash over him. It seemed like a diabolical gift. It made him question every interaction, every feeling he'd experienced since meeting him. When he looked back up and met Chanyeol's eyes, they seemed incredibly sad.

"Your edges are gray. You're filled with doubt."

"You can tell?"

Chanyeol nodded, pain evident on his face.

"Yes. When I walked in, your edges were orange. You practically glowed."

Jongin thought back to just a few minutes ago. He had been elated to see Chanyeol walking up to the house. Had Chanyeol been playing with him this whole time?

"I can't read your mind, but I still know what you're thinking. I've never touched your emotions. And with you, the only thing I would ever do, is diminish them."

"Diminish them?"

"Your fear. Your doubt. Your sadness. I would like to dial them back, get your levels as close to zero as possible. But I want you to trust me."

Jongin shook his head.

"How? How can I ever trust you, Chanyeol?"

Chanyeol fixed him with a soft stare. He made to reach out to touch Jongin's face, then thought better of it. When he spoke, his voice was small, broken.

"I could have told you anything. But you told me not to lie. I didn't. That has to count for something."

Jongin felt the confusion and doubt grow in his chest. He wished he hadn't asked Chanyeol. Wished he'd lied.

"But you said that the attraction was toward any vampire."

"It is. Humans are naturally drawn to beautiful things, no matter how dangerous they are. The rose, with its sharp thorns. The sea, with its undertow. We vampires are no different. You would be curious about Sehun or Baekhyun, too."

Jongin took in Chanyeol's words slowly, chewed them through his mind, let them settle in his consciousness. He remembered something.

"What's your tell?"

"My what?"

"Your tell. Is there a way I could know you're doing it?"

"Oh, you mean like Baekhyun's eyes going violet."

Jongin nodded. Chanyeol leaned back. He'd never thought about it before. Baekhyun was the only one close enough to him to witness it, but he rarely used his gift outside of hunting, and he hunted alone.

"Honestly? I don't know."

Jongin narrowed his eyes at the vampire. Mustering up his courage, he settled on a course of action.

"Fine. Manipulate me."

Chanyeol's eyes went wide.

"You can't be serious."

"I am absolutely serious. I want to know. Do it."

Chanyeol looked around the room as if someone was going to materialize and help him out of this situation. Here he was, trying to do the right thing, and this little punk ass human was testing him.

"Jongin, I don't think--"

"What? You scared?"

Chanyeol knew it was an attempt at getting a rise out of him. Well, two could play that game. If this was what Jongin wanted, so be it. He needed to learn not to cross vampires. Chanyeol bit the inside of his cheek. This was going to be fun.

Jongin felt heat flood him, the air around him suddenly humid. He closed his eyes. All the tension in his body dissipated, his muscles going slack. He felt a gentle breath of air at his neck, a chill traveling down his spine. Blood rushed to his groin, his cock stirring to life. His eyes shot open.

"Chanyeol. Chanyeol, stop."

"What's wrong, Jongin? Afraid I'll think of you differently now that I've seen you turned on?"

"Please. I can't focus."

Chanyeol remembered the reason they started this. Toying with Jongin was not the intent, though he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the blush on Jongin's cheeks. He changed tactics.

Jongin felt the heat shift. It was no longer pleasant. It was oppressive. The anger flared in him, his hands balling up into fists at his sides. He lunged forward, grabbed Chanyeol's collar with both hands.

"Chanyeol. I don't want to hurt you."

"As if you could. Throw the punch. You'll break your hand."

"Pick something else!"

Chanyeol nodded, dug deep into Jongin's consciousness. It was small, but enough. The heat slowly left the room. Jongin sat back down, felt a cool breeze against his face. It reminded him of his favorite time of year. October, when the leaves go orange and red. Hoodie season.

Jongin felt content, for the first time in a long time. He met Chanyeol's eyes, the same warm brown they'd been since he returned from his first hunt. Jongin reached a hand out, touched Chanyeol's arm. He immediately jerked his hand back, startled.

"What's wrong?"

"You're-you're warm."

Chanyeol's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't understand.

"I'm warm?"

Jongin felt the happiness fade around him ever so slightly as Chanyeol lost focus. He reached back out to touch the vampire's skin again. As he held on, the temperature shifted, warm to cool.

"You...you don't know that you're ice cold to the touch?"

"No? I haven't been able to gauge that sensation for centuries. The only people I've touched, I've killed."

Jongin felt himself return to a normal base state, Chanyeol's arm frozen in his grip.

"Well, that's it, then."

"What is?"

"I've never known you to be warm. Not til right now. That's your tell."

Chanyeol nodded, feeling something he hadn't felt since he was a human: vulnerable. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. Didn't want to be around Jongin right now.

"I'm going to bed."

"It's not yet day. What's wrong?"

"Jongin, please."

The human retracted his hand. He watched as the vampire moved to climb the stairs, feeling guilty. In his heart, he knew that emotion was all his own doing.

~

Chanyeol slipped between the mattress and the sheets. He didn't need sleep, but it was the one human function he was grateful to still be capable of. The thoughts raced through his mind. What did Sehun plan to do? What did he know? How much did Baekhyun hide from him? He piled the questions high on his shoulders, the weight strong enough to break his bones. He almost missed the small knock at his door.

"Chanyeol? Can-can I come in?"

He didn't respond, hoping Jongin would take the hint, or think he was already asleep, and give up. The human was nothing if not persistent.

"I know you're not asleep. You're not snoring."

"I do _not_ snore."

"I knew it."

Chanyeol huffed, while Jongin giggled. It was so easy to get him riled up about even the tiniest things. Chanyeol flipped over as he felt weight on the end of his bed. Jongin sat down quietly, traced the pattern on Chanyeol's blanket.

"I shouldn't have asked you to do that."

"You wanted proof. You have it now."

"Then why don't I feel better?"

Chanyeol rolled back over, turning his back on Jongin. He was too tired for stupid questions.

"Your feelings are your own, Jongin. I cannot tell you why you feel something, only that you do feel something."

"You're mad at me?"

"No. I get why you asked. I'm just not sure what you hoped to gain from it."

Jongin sat for a few minutes, let those words sink in. He didn't have an answer, either. Just questions. Hundreds and hundreds of questions. Questions that had follow up questions. There weren't enough hours left in his lifetime to ask them.

"Why didn't you start with happiness?"

"That's complicated."

"I'm listening..."

"I wanted to embarrass you for challenging me."

"What's complicated about that?"

Chanyeol rubbed his hands over his face. He didn't want to get into the mechanics of his gift. It would only leave Jongin feeling worse than he already was. Chanyeol didn't even need to face him to know that Jongin was midnight blue at his edges.

"Jongin, I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to lie."

Jongin scooted up further on the bed.

"Lying will hurt me more."

Chanyeol sighed. He doubted that. Seriously doubted that.

"Okay. Fine. The truth is, I draw on the emotion I see the most. And happiness, for you, doesn't seem to be high on your list."

Jongin felt like he'd been slapped square across the face. He was plenty happy. He had a good family, plenty of friends. His research was going well. Chanyeol had to have his wires crossed.

"All the things you're listing in your mind right now, aren't happiness."

"I thought you can't read my mind."

"I can't. I just know you well enough now. It shocked me, too, how little joy I found in your heart. Fear, anger, doubt, sadness? Pouring out. But joy? Stifled, barely there."

Jongin felt the tears spring to his eyes, but did his best to choke them down. Chanyeol didn't know what he was talking about. How could he? He was a perfect stranger, and a vampire, too. Jongin sucked in a breath, the tears spilling over and streaming down his cheeks. All of his research, all of his want to coexist, and here he sat, with such an ugly thought in his head about Chanyeol. Chanyeol, who had been nothing but kind, open, honest the entire time he'd known him. Silent tears turned to gasping sobs.

"Jongin, please. It's alright."

"No, no, it's not!"

Chanyeol wrapped his arms around the human, his right arm running up and down Jongin's back. He consoled him as best as his cold limbs would allow.

"You're in a weird place right now. That's probably all it is. Don't let it eat at you. If not for your own sake, for my benefit. I don't think purple is your color."

"Purple?"

"Sorrow. Anguish. It doesn't suit you."

"What does?"

Chanyeol smiled. Jongin was fishing for compliments, and something in him was more than happy to oblige him.

"Red, though not the red you flare when you're angry or annoyed. The softer version, that I've only seen once. Today. Earlier. But uh, yellow. Like a daffodil. When you're immersed in a book. The best, though, is when you laugh all the way up from your toes. It's the prettiest orange/pink. Like a cotton candy sky at twilight. That's my favorite."

Jongin pulled away, just enough to look into Chanyeol's eyes.

"You spend a lot of time looking at me, huh?"

"It's only fair. You spend a lot of time looking at me, too."

Jongin smiled.

"What color am I now?"

"You know, you were incredulous about this not even an hour ago."

"Answer the question."

"Pink. Not that hot pink bullshit. Pastel. Almost could be white, if you didn't catch it in the right light."

Jongin nodded. He knew exactly what Chanyeol meant. He reached for one of the vampire's hands, the motion hesistant, in case Chanyeol wanted to pull away. Ice cold. Unexpected comfort.

"Do you see color all the time?"

"No. It usually is only with strong emotion. Nothing is stronger than fear. It's an awful olive green. It's-you're the only person I've ever been around that is almost constantly radiating color."

Jongin shook his head, the statement puzzling him. He didn't feel like he held emotions too strongly in his chest. Never really felt on either end of the spectrum at any given point on any given day. It didn't make sense.

"Was I like this when you met me?"

Chanyeol laughed.

"Fire engine red when you scolded me. But mostly yellow, since you were studying."

"And the green?"

Chanyeol nodded. He tried not to associate Jongin with the color, with the taste of blood, with someone else's pulse beating in his ears. Jongin looked out the window. The sun was just beginning to make its presence known. They both needed sleep.

"Well, I won't keep you. I just wanted to make sure we're okay."

"If you think we're okay, then we are."

Jongin nodded before standing up to leave. He gave Chanyeol a wave at the door, a peach glow around him that put the sunrise that morning to shame.

~

Chanyeol awoke several hours later to the sun shining into his eyes. He had foolishly forgotten to close his curtains the night before in his mad dash to get away from Jongin. The vampire stretched, popped his vertebrae back into place the way he had when he was human. He was contemplating turning over and falling back to sleep when he heard a distinct thump. It came from directly above his room.

"JONGIN?!"

Chanyeol was out of his room, up the stairs, and bursting through the door in the time it took to blink. Olive green. The entire room was filled with it.

"Jongin? What are you doing in here?"

The human turned to him slowly, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Do you see it?!"

"See what?"

Jongin held out his wrists. He was fully sobbing now, his response completely unintelligible. Chanyeol stepped toward him, stooped down to where he sat on the floor.

"What did you say?"

"I'm bleeding! Chanyeol! I'm bleeding!"

Jongin threw his wrists into Chanyeol's face. He grabbed one arm, then the other. There was nothing there. Jongin was clutching something in his fist. Chanyeol peeled his fingers back to reveal a locket. One Baekhyun wore every day of his undead life. The only thing that remained of him as he disintegrated. Chanyeol took it from his hand, embraced him.

"Shhhhh. You're okay. It isn't real. I'm right here. It's not real. Just breathe."

Jongin sobbed against his chest, the force breaking capillaries in his face. Chanyeol held him tighter, rocked them both back and forth. The olive green fog that had blanketed the room slowly began to lift. When Jongin's cries turned to sniffles, Chanyeol finally let go.

"What-what happened?"

"False thoughts. Baekhyun's favorite. Why are you in his room?"

"I was bored. I'm sorry."

"You could have died. I have no way of knowing what he marked and what he didn't."

"Well, you could have told me that this room was off limits."

Chanyeol gave Jongin a hard look.

"Would that have stopped you? Or only piqued your interest further?"

Jongin leaned back into his embrace, hiding his expression. Chanyeol ran a hand through the human's hair. He idly wondered if Jongin knew that curiosity killed the cat.

Jongin pointed to the locket in Chanyeol's hand. It was silver, heart shaped with a hummingbird etched in the center. Chanyeol had seen it everyday for 200 years, but he'd never really looked at it.

"Who's inside?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's got to be a picture in there, don't you think?"

In truth, Chanyeol had never given it even a passing thought. He clicked the tiny notch on the side. The picture that appeared before him was one he remembered Baekhyun taking. His first birthday as a vampire. As his eyes glanced over to the other half of the locket, he threw it down onto the floor, as if it had burned him. The face that haunted his dreams.

Sehun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful that this story is basically writing itself. I have zero brain power, but whenever I sit down to work on this bad boy, it just seems to flow. Tiny victories, my babies.
> 
> Leave a kudos if the mood strikes you. Comments are cool, if you're into that type of thing. Thank you for sticking with this story. I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am.
> 
> Hope this new chapter finds you well. Have a great rest of your week!


	6. Truth

Chanyeol carried Jongin to his room after the panic released its grip on them both. He laid the human gently on his bed, watched him hide under the blankets, pulling a pillow to his chest. As he turned to walk out of the room, Chanyeol heard Jongin's voice. Small and timid.

"Chanyeol? Will you stay with me?"

Chanyeol took in a deep breath, closed his eyes. He knew that this day would come, when his resolve would be tested, when he would have to choose between keeping a safe distance from Jongin and giving him what he wanted.

"I can't."

The vampire heard the sheets rustle before a warm hand wrapped itself around one of his own. He turned his head slightly at the touch. Chanyeol was listening, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Jongin. Not if he wanted to keep his wits about him.

"Please. I'm scared."

Chanyeol looked at Jongin's hand around his own. The edges weren't olive green, but purple.

"You're conflicted. Not scared."

Jongin pulled away from Chanyeol, standing up from the foot of the bed to walk into the elder's path.

"Don't tell me what I feel. You don't have any idea what I feel."

Red. All around him.

"Anger and frustration."

"Stop it, Chanyeol. Fucking stop it."

Chanyeol threw his hands in the air before placing them on his hips. This was impossible. He should never have admitted to his gift, never told Jongin how it worked.

"You're asking me to not see something that is plain as day, Jongin! I cannot help it!"

Jongin stepped forward, pressed his index finger into Chanyeol's chest. Chanyeol's eyes widened as the red at the human's edges flared, extending out in an arc around his body.

"I'm not asking you to not see it. I'm asking you to ignore it. It's not fair, the way you can read me."

Chanyeol smacked Jongin's hand away from him. He stepped forward, standing at full height, crowding Jongin's space. To his credit, the human didn't back down. He held his ground, even when Chanyeol leaned close enough that he could feel the puffs of air as he spoke.

"It isn't fun for me. I don't like it anymore than you do. But even if I couldn't see your emotions, I would still know."

"How?"

"Because I see you, Jongin."

His hand reached out, ice against flame. He cupped Jongin's jaw, ran a thumb across his cheek, ignoring the way the red fizzled around him. Jongin didn't have the heart to fight, and Chanyeol was grateful for it.

"Just until I fall asleep. Please. I'll leave when I wake up."

"You-you don't have to leave, Jongin."

"You said it yourself, Chanyeol. I'm not in any immediate danger. There's no need for me to stay. And it's probably better that I go."

Jongin placed a hand over Chanyeol's, still smoothing over his cheek, his other hand moving to brush the hair off the vampire's forehead. He smiled, sad.

"Please, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol sighed, allowed Jongin to pull him toward the bed. Jongin hopped in first, burrowing underneath the blankets and pillows as he had before. He reached a hand out to Chanyeol. Chanyeol didn't take it, just laid down on the very edge of the bed. Jongin wasn't satisfied. He tried to move him closer, but Chanyeol was heavy in a way that wasn't human. Jongin huffed, sliding over to him and curling around his body. Chanyeol made no move to shy away, but he didn't ease into Jongin's hold, either.

Jongin sighed out, frustrated and exhausted. He lifted his head from the mattress and laid it across Chanyeol's chest. He threw his left leg over Chanyeol's hip. After a few minutes of laying there, neither moving nor speaking, Jongin broke the silence.

"You don't have a heartbeat."

It was a statement, not a question. Chanyeol hummed in response. He made extra effort to breathe now, not wanting that to be the next thing Jongin noticed. Another tally mark on their list of differences.

"I just don't understand how you don't...die."

"There's only one way to fully accomplish it. I didn't know it existed until recently."

"But Baekhyun died a long time ago? You didn't ask?"

"He was dead before I even realized it was happening."

Jongin wrapped his left arm around Chanyeol's waist, snuggling closer, if that were possible. Chanyeol had the sneaking suspicion that the human was trying to warm him up with his own body heat. A futile endeavor, but sweet nevertheless.

"Every vampire has their own human. Out there somewhere. That human, their blood will kill their vampire. It's the only way. Baekhyun found her. And I was too young to ask."

Jongin made a small noise. Whether he was startled or sad or confused, Chanyeol wasn't sure. His eyes were closed, and he intended to keep them that way. If Jongin wanted him to ignore his gift, he owed it to him to try.

"Do you want to find your human?"

"With every fiber of my being."

Jongin rolled over, turning his back on Chanyeol. He couldn't be mad at the vampire; he had been the one to bring it up. But the detached way Chanyeol answered, like he was talking about the weather and not the end of his existence, it made the air in the room go sour.

"You asked me a question. I answered it. I've never lied to you."

"Well, maybe I wish you would."

Chanyeol opened his eyes, turned onto his side. Jongin was trimmed with a color he'd never seen before. It was pretty, like the ocean during a storm, blue and green, turbulent. He folded his body over Jongin's from behind, his hand lacing Jongin's fingers with his own.

"I don't want to, though. Even if it would spare your feelings. I am alone. It's so difficult, Jongin--"

"Is this what you call 'alone'?"

Chanyeol looked down as Jongin turned in his hold. He was beautiful. Tan skin, fluffy, honey hair, warm eyes, plush lips. Jongin searched Chanyeol's eyes for some truth, some answer, but there was nothing to be found. No light, no warmth. Only darkness and death.

"Jongin, please."

Chanyeol closed his eyes. The emotion welling up in his chest was suffocating, even though his lungs didn't need oxygen. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, willed himself to stay still.

In the end, it didn't matter. Jongin moved of his own accord. Carefully, eyes flicking up to Chanyeol's closed eyes, then back down to his lips, back and forth, back and forth, he inched forward, until he pressed the smallest, softest kiss to Chanyeol's lips. Jongin shifted closer, pressed his body flush to Chanyeol's. He kissed him again and again, slowly chipping away at the wall Chanyeol had built up between them. Curling his fingers in Chanyeol's hair, Jongin licked gently up the vampire's closed lips, tried to coax him into kissing back. He pulled on the strands in his grasp, which tilted Chanyeol's neck back ever so slightly. Jongin breathed along the column of his neck, pressed kisses into the skin there. When Chanyeol felt teeth against his skin, he moved.

Before Jongin was even aware of what had happened, he heard the front door slam. Chanyeol was gone.

~

To say that Chanyeol handled the situation poorly was the grossest understatement of the 4+ centuries he'd walked the earth. He had left the manor, the sun still high in the sky, and taken down every single human that crossed his path. By the time the adrenaline pumping through his veins dissipated, there was a trail of fourteen bodies in his wake. There was no way he could just leave them strewn about, but he couldn't exactly dispose of them discreetly, either.

Chanyeol felt wind at the back of his neck, more like a grip than a breeze. He flinched, turned around, should have known better.

"You should have told me it was a feasting day. I'd have joined you."

Chanyeol watched as Sehun strode closer to him. The elder vampire's leg seemed to be mostly healed, no limp detected as he closed the gap between them. Chanyeol stood there, eyes raking over Sehun's skin. The sun was burning it, but his body kept pace, replacing the skin as it turned to ash.

"Early for you to be out."

"Ah, but you called to me so."

Chanyeol narrowed his eyes, trying to hide his confusion. Sehun merely waved around them, at the morbid mess at their feet.

"You can't kill this many people and not draw attention, Chanyeolie. Especially when I'm around."

Of course. Sehun would be able to smell it. By the end, Chanyeol had gotten sloppy. There was blood on his face, down his neck, onto his hands. Thinking he would somehow escape Sehun's detection was delusional at best. As Chanyeol looked around him, he noticed the wind pick up, it kicking up dust into the air around him. Except...it wasn't dust.

"What are you doing?!"

"Cleaning up your disaster area. What? Want me to stop?"

Chanyeol stared, fear overcoming him. It wasn't just that Sehun could make himself disintegrate. He-he could make _other people_ disintegrate, too. Sehun waved an arm, a huge gust of wind propelling out from his body, and the ashes scattered, leaving little trace of Chanyeol's destruction.

"Oh, come on now, Yeollie. I'm helping you. You could at least _pretend_ to be grateful."

Sehun smiled at Chanyeol, brushed off his own clothes before wiping at Chanyeol's shoulders. Before Chanyeol could back up, put space between them, he felt the same heaviness he had felt the last time they had spoken. Sehun lifted one of Chanyeol's hands, pressed Chanyeol's index finger to his lips, then opened his mouth to suck on the digit. It was obscene, the way he cleaned the blood off Chanyeol's skin, his tongue moving against the finger. Chanyeol would have been mortified if he weren't transfixed by it. When he spoke, his voice was broken, raspy.

"Sehun. Stop."

Sehun dragged his tongue up the length of Chanyeol's finger. He gave the tip a soft bite before letting go entirely. Chanyeol felt the lead drain from his limbs and took a few steps back. Sehun maintained the distance, made no move to get any closer.

"Why are you afraid of me, Chanyeol?"

The words were out of his mouth before he even realized he was speaking.

"Why I'm not afraid of you is a much shorter list."

Sehun chuckled, ran a hand through his hair. He enjoyed honesty whenever he encountered it, and one couldn't be more honest than that, he supposed. He watched Chanyeol's face contort as the younger vampire tried to decide if he should elaborate or lie. In the end, he just stared at Sehun.

"What scares you most?"

"I guess that I know...next to nothing about you. I don't know where you came from, what you can do, what you know."

Sehun nodded, his eyebrows knitting together. Chanyeol got the distinct impression that his response was not what the elder vampire had expected to hear.

"So you mean to say, that your desire for me doesn't scare you?"

At that, Chanyeol sank to his knees, his laughter pouring out of him. He wasn't trying to be rude, but that was the most absurd question he had been asked in a very long time. When he looked up at Sehun, the displeasure was quite evident on his face.

"I apologize. But I don't feel that way toward you. Even if I wasn't terrified of you, I don't think that fact would change."

Sehun seemed to contemplate that for a moment or two, his eyes to the sky as if deep in thought. When they returned to Chanyeol's face, the younger didn't like the look he gave him.

"Then who were you thinking of when I sucked your finger? Hmmm? Whose lips did you wish were wrapped around you?"

Chanyeol sat back on his heels before committing to the ground. He didn't want to admit it. Not that he needed to. Chanyeol was quite sure that Sehun hardly ever asked a question he didn't already know the answer to.

"He's quite striking, you know. The human. No one living or dead could ever even hope to match Baekhyun, but still. He's very pretty."

Chanyeol didn't say anything. The disgust built up in his stomach. He hated it, the way Sehun spoke of Baekhyun, and now, of Jongin. The vampire and the human were both precious to him, and the way Sehun spoke was too familiar. Chanyeol felt like an outsider, like Sehun knew them both more intimately than he could ever hope to. The unknown tainted his relationship with them both.

"Why are you out here with me, when you could be at home with him?"

When Chanyeol didn't respond, Sehun clapped his hands together.

"Oh, I see. You're running away. Better get a grip, though. I won't clean up your mess next time."

"There won't be a next time."

"Oh?"

Sehun walked forward a few steps before sitting down. He scooped up a handful of dirt, crumbled it between his fingers, blowing the tiny clumps from his palm off his fingertips. Chanyeol didn't know why he felt the need to tell Sehun the truth, but he did.

"Jongin was ready to leave before I...ruined things. I doubt he'll be there when I return."

Sehun smiled, tossed a bit of dirt onto Chanyeol's lap.

"You fool."

"I know. I shouldn't have left the way I did--"

Sehun threw up a hand, stopping him from elaborating any further. There was annoyance in his features, as if Chanyeol was too stupid to be bothered with.

"Go home. It might shock you, what you find."

Fear bubbled in his stomach, a sense of dread washing out to his fingertips, turning everything bitterly cold. Sehun cocked his head to the side, a smirk planted firmly on his face. Chanyeol couldn't read him, but he was sure that Jongin was in danger. Oh, God. He'd left him alone in the manor.

Chanyeol stood, his mind turning off as his body took over, legs carrying him home at a breakneck speed. Sehun waved at his back before standing up, content to walk home in the blistering sun.

~

Chanyeol burst through the front door of the manor, briefly checked the sitting room, then immediately ran up the stairs. Jongin met him in the doorway to his room.

"What's wrong?"

Chanyeol didn't answer. He gathered all his momentum, picked up Jongin like he weighed nothing, and laid him back down on the bed. As he hovered over Jongin, Chanyeol gave him a full fifteen seconds to object. In that time, Jongin's edges turned that soft shade of red, the same that dusted over his cheeks. Jongin pulled Chanyeol down by the back of his neck. He sighed into the kiss as their lips connected, all the heat he had been trying to produce earlier radiating out of every pore. Chanyeol's right hand pinned Jongin's arms above his head. It was freezing against his skin.

Jongin licked into Chanyeol's mouth, taking everything he wanted as he rocked his hips into Chanyeol's. He didn't know how to navigate this. Did Chanyeol even have sexual desire anymore? If his heart didn't beat, did that mean his dick couldn't get hard? As his hips stuttered against the vampire, he got his answer.

Chanyeol was hard. Like, rock hard, against him. Delighted, he bit down on Chanyeol's bottom lip. Chanyeol pulled away, but only briefly.

"Promise me something, Jongin."

"Anything."

"We can never be so rough with each other, that we make each other bleed. I'd prefer you not bite me."

"Can't say I feel the same way."

Chanyeol pushed himself back onto his knees.

"This isn't a joke, Jongin."

Jongin hadn't been joking, but even through his lust, he knew that now was not the time. He nodded before voicing a question of his own.

"Bruises?"

"You're welcome to try. I don't know that you can. Would you...do you like being marked up?"

A pulse of the soft red color told Chanyeol everything he needed to know. He pulled at Jongin's shirt, scooting it up and over his head. Chanyeol left sweet kisses across Jongin's chest, down his abdomen. When he reached a hipbone, he sucked a deep bruise into it, his tongue tracing over the mark as Jongin cried out at the sensation. Easily the prettiest sound Chanyeol had heard in his four hundred years.

Wanting to hear that sound over and over again, Chanyeol left mark after mark on Jongin's skin. Both hipbones, one on his right ribcage, one over his heart. Chanyeol licked across Jongin's collarbones, the younger letting out a high whine. As he moved up to kiss the space where Jongin's neck met his shoulder, he felt his fangs descend.

Chanyeol flung himself off Jongin. He caught the edge of the bed before landing hard on the floor. Jongin scrambled after him, his body glistening with sweat.

"Are you alright?"

There was no use trying to talk around his fangs, so he just smiled at Jongin instead.

"Okay. No neck stuff. Duly noted."

Jongin smiled down at Chanyeol, offered him a hand. He pulled the vampire back onto the bed, laughter behind his eyes.

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? You can't help that I'm a five course meal."

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. Jongin laughed, leaning into Chanyeol, his hands coming up to wipe at his eyes. This whole thing was ridiculous. He had no choice but to laugh. As his giggles died down, Jongin looked up and caught Chanyeol staring.

"What?"

"I didn't think you'd still be here."

"You think I'd miss a chance to scold a 400 year old vampire? No way."

Chanyeol smirked.

"I'm not feeling very scolded."

"Ah, yes. Well. The whole pinning me to the bed thing made me forget my speech."

Chanyeol snaked an arm around Jongin, moved to straddle him.

"I'd love to hear it. Should I jog your memory?"

"Hmmm. I remember the crux of it being something about how you're so immature for being centuries old."

Chanyeol kissed Jongin, deep and slow.

"And you intend to teach me?"

Jongin hummed, his lips finding the shell of Chanyeol's ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Sehun. He might be my favorite character I've ever written.
> 
> How are we feeling? Where is this headed? Do you know? Because one of us should.
> 
> Anyhoodle, I'm super grateful for everyone that has given this fic a chance. I really like writing it, so I hope you like reading it even a little bit. If you like reading it a lotta bit, well, that's friggin lovely.
> 
> Hope this new chapter finds you all well.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos to me are like blood to Chanyeol: they keep me going. So leave one or both if you feel so inclined. I appreciate it more than you know.


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